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Coach education teaches us that it is all about the players. Our focus must be them. Helping them onto the next stage of their journey is what matters. Whether that is improving them as players or human beings, we need to work out how to get them to the next level, that is priority number one and over rides everything else.

Except we are human. Coaches might try to remove their ego from the process but we can not completely avoid all the quirks and traits of humanity. Confidence turns to doubt on the back of an aside. Stability to crumbles because of a bump in the road. Growth mindset might help us get back on the path but it could be one hellacious psychological wrestling match to get there. All because of something seemingly small.

Are They Listening?  

Probably not. Probably because I am boring them and babbling on to try and search for extra words. Hunting for the word that grabs their attention. We are not telling stories, we are setting up practices. In a group attention spans are far lower than in one to one situations.

In truth they probably were listening.  Most of them probably did understand. Until the repetition and rambling. Explain it. Then get started. You can always explain it to individuals, at least then those that did get it are off and running.

What about the philosophy? The playing style? The great plans to help them develop? However old they are they, just want to play. Sure they might like the idea of improving but really they want to have fun playing football matches. Especially so at grass roots level. Give them what they want but also give them what they need. If what they need means they no longer want to come back, maybe it isn’t really what they need?

Do They Care?

Yes, but not about the same things as you do. They are kids, they are immature, they are selfish and they seek gratification, usually through scoring goals or humiliating an opponent with a trick. It is very unusual for a child to really care about the bigger picture. Many adults don’t, so why should we expect children to?

The session may be of the utmost importance to you but for them it may be one of many, just a small part of their larger picture. Why would they care as much as you?

Are They Trying? Do They Want To Be Here?

They might not be trying, they might be fed up. They might have had an extremely tough week. They might have reached the end of their tether. Who says they ever asked to come to football in the first place? If their body language is disinterested or lost they probably are. It is quite likely that a well meaning relative has dragged them along. The best we can do is make them feel welcome and find an activity they enjoy. There is every chance that is not the game.

Who Is Ruining My Good Work?

Those coaches who consider themselves well educated will bemoan the influence of others upon their charges. All those hours showing the players the right way to play and encouraging them to express themselves only for them to be crushed by the PE teacher who wants to play in behind at every opportunity. The parent who thinks they should play one and two touch only. The older brother who highlights every mistake. There again, that person might feel exactly the same about you. People will always have opinions about football. If you truly do have a message you believe in make sure it compelling and authentic, then your message will stand out above the rest.

Am I Coaching The Right Things?

Only you can know that. They are your players. You know what they need.

In theory at least.

Sometimes you will be filling in, covering or meeting a group for the first time. What should you coach in these situations? Fun? Or have you been asked to deliver something specific? If asked, deliver, but you run the risk of attempting to deliver an inauthentic session. Something stilted, mechanical and clunking. Reach for your bag of marked greatest hits, it might be off topic, but there will be no complaints.

The rest of the time it will really depend on the way you see the game. What are the keys? What are the non negotiables? What abilities does a player need above all others? Whatever your answers are to these coach them. Be true to your beliefs, but don’t be afraid to be wrong.

Too Much Or Not Enough?

Having worked out what they need how can we get them all the information? Is it possible to squeeze everything into the allotted time? The answer will always be no. Whether you have one session a week or five.

The desire to do right usually leads to over planning. To having sheets of paper crammed with things to do that can never ever fit. Trying to do so usually leaves us feeling down upon review and the kids bemused because they never settled into anything. They never had the chance to breathe. Put less in and there is every chance they will gain more.

You may then worry about under coaching versus over coaching? I would always prefer to have leant towards under because that usually means they had more touches and I had talked less. Infinitely preferable to me boring them.

Is It Working?

How do we measure success? If we are working with adults it is probably quite obvious. Though success is still relative to resources available.

For young players success should be measured against improvement, but sometimes the players are not really interested in improving. They are interested in playing. If we find a balance between learning outcomes and play then we might be fortunate enough to achieve a combination of what they want, what we desire and watching improvements. However, as development is not linear we can only really tell if we are afforded the time to truly see the long term pattern.

Am I Any Good? How Can I Tell?

Did you win the league? Did you stave off relegation? Did you get players into academies? Or did you build players up from nothing to a level of competency that allows them to play football to a level they enjoy?

Do they come back every week? Does the football they experience with you make them happy?

We can define good in different ways. Someone else’s idea of good might not be the same as yours. They might not mind very much if their child is happy.

These questions will swirl around in our heads from time to time. Clarity of thought can help quieten these thoughts. Even power past them. They will probably come back again. They come to us all. Angst is natural, sometimes even helpful. It is a shared experience, one which makes us all closer to each other than we might otherwise have imagined.

I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did then check out my book on 3v3 Coaching.